Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle
Author: By Blake Kritzberg
By now, surely everyone's familiar with the unity candle,
but did you know there are other unification ceremonies to
choose from when planning your wedding?
Although the unity candle seems to have been with us forever,
in reality it's only about ten years old. During those years,
more "two-become-one" motifs have arrived to round
out the theme.
Unification ceremonies are not only a symbol of togetherness,
they're also flexible elements of a wedding. These ceremonies
can be "opened up" to include important family members,
such as the bridal couple's parents. Children from previous
marriages can play a part, as can the entire congregation
in a smaller wedding. Candle and rose ceremonies are common
choices for adapting in this way.
Unification ceremonies can also be "stacked." It's
not unusual to find a wedding that includes a hand and water
ceremony, for example, or a wine and rose ceremony. Some couples
play music during these ceremonies and others don't.
The timing of unification ceremonies varies by wedding, but
they most often take place directly before or after the exchange
of vows. These ceremonies may be especially important in non-religious
weddings, which may end too quickly otherwise!
Let's look at some alternatives to the Unity Candle ceremony:
- Rose Ceremony The rose ceremony is a flexible, informal
ceremony especially suited to an interfaith or non-religious
wedding, not to mention a garden wedding! In the rose ceremony,
bride and groom exchange a single rose as their first married
gift to each other. They are asked to recall this symbol
of their love during the more trying seasons of marriage.
- Hand Ceremony In the hand ceremony, the bride takes the
groom's hands in hers, palms up. The officiant invites her
to view his hands as a gift, and says: "These are the
hands that will work along side yours, as together you build
your future, as together you laugh and cry, and together
you share your innermost secrets and dreams."
The groom then takes the bride's hands, palm side up. The
officiant says, "They are the hands that will passionately
love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime
of happiness, as she promises her love and commitment to you
all the days of her life."
- Knot Ceremony In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the
bridal couple are given a cord, which the officiant later
asks them to give to the bridal couple. The couple ties
a lover's knot, which they may save to look back on later.
- Sand, Water and Wine Ceremonies These are all mixing
ceremonies suited to a Unitarian or interfaith wedding.
The sand ceremony is said to arise from Apache customs,
and is popular in beach weddings. In each case, the bride
and groom pour sand or liquid from two separate vials into
one. In the wine ceremony, they drink the mixed wine.
A nice touch is to have the bride pour white wine while the
groom pours red. You can then serve rosé at the reception
to remind everyone of the ceremony.
- The Salt Covenant The salt covenant is an ancient tradition,
well-described in the Bible, and appearing regularly in
Indian-national and Jewish weddings. Like the Jewish Huppah,
the salt covenant (a mixing ceremony with ancient connotations
of loyalty, protection and hospitality) is beginning to
show up in non-Jewish weddings as well.
- The Foot-Washing Ceremony The foot washing ceremony (not
to be confused with the Scottish bridal foot-washing ceremony,
a raucous pre-wedding event) is a fascinating, solemn custom
emphasizing the role of dual servitude in a marriage.
This short article hasn't covered all the unification ceremonies:
there are bread-sharing ceremonies, circling ceremonies, broom
jumping ceremonies, and probably more ceremonies that are
being invented right now.
However, if you feel a unification ceremony might make your
wedding more meaningful and personal, consider these alternatives.
Don't forget that you can use more than one!
| About the author: Blake Kritzberg is the proprietor
of: http://www.favorideas.com
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